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Jill Bergmann's avatar

Thank you for writing this. My beautiful, amazing queer teen has been working on their piece for this coming school year’s Speech & Debate season. Topic? The Lavender Scare. Like you, they are finding the threads that connect the past with current events and weaving together a picture of the harms and calls to action. I can’t wait to share your piece with them—you may become part of the works cited! This conversation is so important to have, and your writing makes it easy to share with others in a way that is accessible and meaningful, opening hearts and minds to the experiences within the LGBTQIA+ community. Thank you!

Lisa Joy 🏳️‍🌈's avatar

Good read. Though I have come out to my sister, kids and niece, I am still navigating what being out looks like in the greater community. I have tried to find an affirming church twice, and both times the church has disappointed. The second one especially - I googled LGBTQ+ affirming (because first one I tried one in a denomination that is supposed to be affirming and then didn’t find anything specifically affirming attending there). When I showed up at the second church, once again, nothing specific. Finally I made an appointment to meet with the pastor, and found out they “love” LGBTQ+ people, and want or lead them out of sin to salvation in Jesus.

I really liked the people there, and after a long life in the closet being a dutiful Christian wife, they are totally happy to accept me if I stay celibate. I am chronically ill and tired, don’t know if I will find someone to date - that requirement might not be too onerous…

But… as the conversation sat with me for awhile, I realized that if I were to come out to the congregation as a whole, I will be an “abomination” to them. They will be afraid to let me talk to their children. Single women will eye me suspiciously when I make small talk. Their “love” is either dusted in the ashes of condescension or a conditional facsimile of empty grace, not open acceptance. Am I maybe being prejudiced against them? Possibly. They are very proud of their volunteering and service in the community. Maybe too many years being in the pews listening to sermons implying that the most unforgivable of sins is being attracted to the same gender - an abomination.

Reading this makes it all the more obvious, especially with the goals in Project 2025. I have decided already I have to be honest about who I am. Living that openly will hopefully leave the door open a little wider for the ones who come behind. Thank you for a dose of practical courage.

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