This episode took longer to make than I expected. Not because the research was hard. The facts are well-documented and deeply unsettling. But because I kept trying to figure out how to talk about something this personal without either softening it or losing you in my anger.
I was going through the Hensley filing. Judge Dianne Hensley, the Waco justice of the peace who refused to marry same-sex couples and then sued when she got in trouble for it. And I got to the part where her lawyer argues that Obergefell v. Hodges was wrongly decided and should be overturned entirely.
And I thought: I know this lawyer.
Jonathan Mitchell is the architect of Texas’ 2021 abortion ban. That ban worked. Roe v. Wade fell a year later. And now he’s coming for marriage.
He’s not being clever this time the way he was with Roe v. Wade. With the abortion ban, he engineered around the courts, enlisting private citizens to do the enforcing. This time he’s going straight at them. Calling our marriages made up. Which tells me he thinks he knows exactly what court he’s walking into.
Derek and I got married in 2016. We’d been together for 10 years by then, and when Obergefell passed in 2015, we finally had the right to make it official. I remember what that felt like. Not just the wedding, but the shift. The way it changed how we moved through the world together. No longer just partners in our own eyes. Recognized. Counted. Real in the eyes of the law. No matter where we entered or exited moments, in a hospital room, signing a legal document, or in an emergency, we weren’t just partners anymore. We were family in the eyes of the law.
That’s what’s at stake. Not a symbol. A legal reality that protects real lives.
I am angry. I say that in the episode and I mean it. The idea that there’s a strategy, a lawyer, a coalition, a playbook, to undo my marriage... that’s not abstract. That’s my life. And frankly, I find the whole thing rather rude.
The truth is more complicated than just the threat. There are real protections in place. There are real legal roadblocks. And our community has always found a way to keep living and building and fighting, usually all at the same time.
That’s the balance I was trying to hold.
Please give it a listen. Not because I made it. Because this is moving quietly. The more people who understand the strategy behind it, the harder it is for it to move that way.
All the sources are linked in the show notes. Read them. Share the episode. And check in on your queer friends, especially the ones in red states, in small towns, in places where the legislature is not on their side.
We’re not done fighting. We never really stopped.
— David
Sources used in researching the episode: I encourage you to read further and come to your own conclusions.
The Hensley Lawsuit
Texas Tribune — Waco judge asks federal courts to overturn same-sex marriage — https://www.texastribune.org/2025/12/19/texas-judge-same-sex-marriage-supreme-court-obergefell/
Primary source. The most detailed and credible reporting on the lawsuit, Mitchell’s strategy, and the legal arguments.
LGBTQ Nation — Texas judge asks federal court to end marriage equality nationwide — https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/12/texas-judge-asks-federal-court-to-end-marriage-equality-nationwide/
Community-focused coverage with additional context on the history of the case going back to 2015.
Instinct Magazine — Waco Judge Challenges Supreme Court Ruling on Same-Sex Marriage — https://instinctmagazine.com/waco-judge-challenge-same-sex-marriage
Notes that Hensley is not the only Texas judge filing this type of lawsuit — there is a pattern.
First Liberty Institute — Judge Dianne Hensley Case Page — https://firstliberty.org/cases/judge-dianne-hensley/
The conservative legal organization representing Hensley. Included so you can understand how the other side frames this argument.
The Respect for Marriage Act
NPR — What does the Respect for Marriage Act do? — https://www.npr.org/2022/12/08/1140808263/what-does-the-respect-for-marriage-act-do-the-answer-will-vary-by-state
The clearest explainer on what the law does and doesn’t protect — and why the answer varies by state.
Human Rights Watch — US Congress Protects Right to Marry — https://www.hrw.org/news/2022/12/08/us-congress-protects-right-marry
Covers the federal benefits protected by the Act: immigration, taxes, hospital visitation, Social Security, and more.
Whitman-Walker Health — Respect for Marriage Act Secures Marriage Equality — https://www.whitman-walker.org/respect-for-marriage-act/
Written specifically for LGBTQ+ people. Addresses what happens to existing marriages if Obergefell were overturned.
The Dobbs Parallel & Justice Thomas
Wikipedia — Respect for Marriage Act (see section on Dobbs concurrence) — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect_for_Marriage_Act
Includes Justice Clarence Thomas’s concurring opinion in Dobbs, where he explicitly called on the Court to reconsider Obergefell.
Historical Context: Loving v. Virginia
Oyez — Loving v. Virginia (1967) — https://www.oyez.org/cases/1966/395
The Supreme Court case that made interracial marriage legal nationwide. The arguments used against it mirror those used against same-sex marriage today.
Project 2025's "Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise"
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