I am anxious, and I am overwhelmed.
As we approach this upcoming election, it feels like everything is on the table. It feels like our lives could drastically change by the end of the year. There is so much, as a queer individual, that we could lose. That overwhelming feeling of losing frightened me so much that I can’t focus on the things that I need to say.
And we’re still told we are overreacting.
I don’t think we are overreacting enough.
Queer people are being pushed to be quieter and less visible here in the US and around the world. Even at 63, that hurts.
Sunday is National Coming Out Day.
The whole idea of National Coming Out Day was just about being seen. It was this radical notion that if people actually knew us, they couldn’t hate us as easily. But right now, with everything going on, coming out is a totally different thing. It isn’t just this personal milestone anymore. It feels like an act of defiance. This one incredibly significant moment in your life is a stone in the wall we’re building against the erasure of the progress we fought for. It means standing up to be counted when the forces around us want nothing more than to push us back and out of sight.
I grew up in a time when LGBTQ+ rights were just beginning to rise and we were getting louder and less afraid. We began shouting “We’re here, we’re queer,” and we proudly stood our ground in the face of AIDS and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.
I don’t want to go back to when we felt like sneaking around, hiding ourselves, quieting our voices so the general population of straight people could feel comfortable around us.
Their emotional maturity is not ours to nurture.
Monday, October 12, marks twenty-eight years since Matthew Shepard died. He was beaten, tortured and left to die in Laramie, Wyoming, for being gay. He was 21. Just for being gay! Because of discrimination, fear or hatred!
I should have been louder before then. I didn’t know Matthew. I was not living anywhere near him, but I remember that day. I remember thinking this could be any one of us.
You can feel it happening now. There is so much hatred being directed at us by right-wing extremists, and trans people are being used as pawns in a game of electoral thrones.
Writing was never my intent or vision. But I am a 63-year-old queer who believes that getting our voices out there in the wild helps anyone who feels alone and scared. Anyone!
This National Coming Out Day, our visibility and our vote are our voice. We have a duty to show up at the ballot box, to look this country in the eye, and remind everyone that our existence is not up for debate.
We are not going back.
-David
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